License to kill!!

This is how they described “Agent 007” with a “license to kill”. This reminded me of my power to hurt, I didn’t know I possess such power. I always thought of myself as a harmless sweat guy, who is very tender with a power to heal and soothe. Yesterday I was faced with my ugly side, and I was reminded with a very painful sentence “Hurt people hurt others, and blessed people bless others”, and why is it so painful! because it says that there is something wrong with me, when I longed for a healed and blessed me who is capable to bless others.

It was an accident, nothing with intention, it was very sudden to me like “what, what, what is going on, what is happening !!”, but then I found someone hurt and bleeding lying in front of me. Exactly like a car accident, when you hit someone, there is the shock of “what” and then you are faced with the ugly consequences.  Try to explain to the person, or his family or the people that it was an accident and you didn’t mean it and that you are sorry. But it doesn’t matter, because what matters is the person is hurting is in pain. And people are looking to you “bad driver, bad driver”, there is something wrong with your driving, there is something wrong with you. And yes, they know it was an accident. Some people my sympathize with me, and try to defend that with accidents no one should be blamed, that is why the logic of an accident, and that is why in a court the judge rules no verdicts!.

But the point is that while people are arguing who to blame and taking sides, there is someone a person who is hurting and in pain, and for that person all what matters now is for pain and hurt to cease. Eventually, pain will subsides and the wound would turn into scar. Scars are not painful, people don’t feel where their scar is on their bodies, till they see with their eyes where it is, they don’t see it all the time. But for the person who caused the scar, he can always see it and will always see his name written all over it. And he will always be reminded that he hurt that person and scared him. I think this is an enough punishment for someone made an accident!!!

I think both of them would wish for the scar to dissolve and disappear, I hear this is not possible, but I also hear that now there are surgeries and laser treatments, but I don’t think there is such treatment for our kind of scars. Remember when I said when you open and take the risk, things work out for the best, and then I debated what if sometimes it didn’t work out for the best!. You know what, I encountered such experience with someone I never thought I would dare to hurt, with someone that is more important to me than anything in my current life, and I almost lost her. How it did not end, and how it worked out at the end, I have no clue !!!!! I try to think that is because she really loved me, but I don’t think this was the reason. I am trying to put a word for it or a clue … I think it is … it is … GRACE !!!