Lord, ooh my Lord ... I have cried for you a lot ... I called for you a lot ... I approached your presence a lot ... But this time I hope it is different ...
I have sinned against you, so many times ... I left you and went searching for things and people to satisfy me and fulfill me ... I lost my real intimate love for you ... I pathetically tried before, but no success, as if deep down in my heart I did not really want you ... Forgive me in Jesus Name ... I repent, I really want you to forgive me ...
The only thing that is backing me up to approach you today, is that you said that the blood of your son can cover any sin and is enough for you to forgive me. And that you are faithful you never change or treat us the way we treat you. The story of the Prodigal son is another reason. You accepted him, and you never reject anyone who comes back asking for you.
My Lord, My king and My Father ... I am completely hurt, wounded and torn from inside and outside ... I know and admit that it is all the fruits of my actions. I sought love and console from people ... humans ... I sought care and support from humans. I thought I might find someone who can trust in and believe in me and his faith could not be shaken, I thought I could find someone who I can open my heart, pour it out, and cry out all my fears, my problems and my struggles, and he would have the ears and heart open and always willing to listen, and would not see me weak or pathetic or whiny ... But that caused me to be hurt more from those people ... For years and years, I have cried alone in my bed, I whined alone in bed, and tossed and turned in my tears in bed ... At these moments I tired to talk to you, but I was not that intimate with you to feel you around, to feel you close, to be satisfied, fulfilled and content with you ... I needed a person a human ...
People change and can easily destroy me ... But you are everlasting and never change and would never destroy me ... Today, I want to come back to you ... I want You to be my closest friend ... My intimate lover who I make love with ... The reason why I live everyday ... The only person I can not live without ... Not only the center of my life, but my whole life ... The true person that brings satisfaction and fulfillment to my heart ... To be enough, completely enough from head to toe, for me when I am completely lonely that I would never need to go a human again ... To be the person I am able to show my weakness, to be pathetic around, to whine and cry, and not be afraid of rejection or be ashamed of myself ...
You created me desiring to live committed to one person ... I beg you today, never let me go vainly searching how to fulfill that need, the way Sarah did ... Don't let me go make love to Hagar and give birth to Ismael, because I can not wait for your right timing and your way of fulfilling your promises and taking care of me ... Let me always trust that you will take care of my most vulnerable desire and need and you will fulfill in the right timing and with the right person ...
Today, I beg you in Jesus name, to free me of all my addictions and sins I have ... To free me from my porn addiction, to free me from people ... And if I am addicted to her, if my bond with her is wrong, then free me from her ... And fill all that emptiness with YOU and your solid, sweet, comforting, satisfying, everlasting and unchangeable love ...
You know my heart and my thoughts and nothing is hidden from you ... True, I am deeply hurt and wounded, and this prayer is the cry of pain ... But you know that I have been wanting to be in this relationship with you, I have been desiring you for some time ... My Lord, I do not want this prayer to be a reaction to my hurt and wounds, it is a deep desire that I can not wait to happen ...
My Lord ... I am in real pain, please touch my heart and sooth my pain, do not leave me stranded, tossing and turning out of pain ... You are gentle and good, you never left a person wounded who came and asked you for your magical touch ... Do not leave me sinking in pain till it suffocates me ... Do not leave me in pain ... I beg you in Jesus name. All what you asked from those who approached you is to "believe" ... And I believe my Lord, I believe you can sooth me, you can heal me, you can free me, you can satisfy me, I believe in Jesus name ...
One more thing, I think I can ask you in this prayer ... The person I love, please, free her tongue to be able to come back and talk with you, in Jesus name, I beg you my Lord ... Please, bring back her dignity ... Defend her and bring back her rights ... Heal her wounds and wipe her tears ... in Jesus name, I beg you my Lord ...
My Lord, MY King and MY Father ... please I beg you, in Jesus name, do not take long time to answer my prayer ... Do not take long time to sooth my pain ... Do not take long time to hold me in your arms and bring me close to you and hug me tightly ... I need you more than ever ... in Jesus name ...
My Lord, My king and My Father ... there are a lot of things, many many things that I don't understand and I am so confused ... Please answer me even bit by bit, stop the storm in my head ... in Jesus name, I beg you my Lord ...
Hurt people hurt others, and blessed people bless others ... I want to be a blessed person my Lord ...
In JESUS NAME, hear my cry my Lord and do not take long time, I beg you in Jesus name, I beg you in Jesus Name ... Amen ....
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